Friday, March 16, 2012

Letting His Confident Love Take Hold of my Fragile Heart

I constantly hear voices in my head. Not weird imaginary voices but, rather, the voices of those who have inspired and guided my spiritual life. Helpful and sometimes even life-saving, these voices deserve my sincere appreciation.

A problem arises, however, when I allow these voices, which so often admonished me, or redirected me, or tested me, to have too much of a priority in the here-and-now. How often do I ridicule myself for not praying the rosary as frequently as I should, or get down on myself for failing to consistently recite the Liturgy of the Hours, or reprimand myself for too often forgetting the poor souls in my daily prayer? How often do I set out to meet Jesus in His Word only to spend the entire time worrying about not setting my sacred Bible on the ground or fretting about praying the four steps of Lectio Divina as precisely and accurately as possible?

Receiving spiritual advice is certainly not the root of my angst, but the question I must ultimately ask myself is this: from whom am I seeking blessed assurance? Do all of these “shoulds” and “should-nots” I carry with me, ultimately lead me closer to the Heart of Christ? Do they allow me to become more of the woman He created me to be? Because at the end of this life, it is not this spiritual mentor or that accountability partner who will stand before me. Christ Himself will be my Judge. And my faith tells me that He will ask me about the love in my heart, the love that I have for Him and for all humanity. So may I let my anxious scruples fall away, and may I allow His all-consuming love to set my heart ablaze.

reflected by Meghan Whalen

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